Ballad Of Skip Wiley

He's a man on a mission
Wild as a ricochet
Picture if you can when the Everglades ran
From the Gulf Coast to Biscayne Bay

He's gonna give it back to the gators
Lock the tourists up in theme parks and zoos
He says, "Join me for lunch at the reptile's brunch
Where the barometer soup is you"

He's crazy and dangerous
But who else can you trust?
He's the outlaw in all of us
The environmental terrorist

You can mess with that mouse in Orlando
Jilt the tourists in St. Augustine
You can shoplift all day at Blockbuster
But you can't steal the Orange Bowl Queen
No, you can't steal the Orange Bowl Queen

That's unthinkable in the state of Florida
What would the Chamber of Commerce say?
This man is sick, yeah

There were crimes of epic proportions
All part of Skip Wiley's crusade
Tourists were cackin' and tourists were packin'
While he and Skink cooled their heels in the shade

Then came the citrus sensation
"Welcome to the revolution," he said
With a pirate's persona, he snatched the gridiron Madonna
And the pig movers called for his head

He's crazy and dangerous
But who else can you trust
He's the outlaw in all of us
The environmental terrorist

You can mess with that mouse in Orlando
Jilt a tourist in St. Augustine
You can rag on the Miami Dolphins
But you can't steal the Orange Bowl Queen
No, you can't steal the Orange Bowl Queen
No, no, you can't steal the Orange Bowl Queen

Well, Skip's caper, it kinda backfired
Got the orange juice barons rather upset
In the light of bad moves, these manhunts ensued
Skip easily slipped through the net
He was last seen atop of a mangrove
Perched like a wounded osprey
He was not meant to last
He belongs to the past and I hope he gets there one day

He's crazy and dangerous
But who else can you trust
He's the outlaw in all of us
The environmental terrorist

You can mess with that mouse in Orlando
Jilt a tourist in St. Augustine
You can shoplift your days at Blockbuster
But you can't steal the Orange Bowl Queen
No, you can't steal the Orange Bowl Queen
No, you can't steal the Orange Bowl Queen, that's right